Good job everybody! This is what we've been waiting for. I hope everybody has a great break. We've earned it.
Mr. Teachbad went out last night with a bunch of other teachers and tied one on. When we get together socially it always strikes me that there is so much talent, expertise, goodwill, and friendship among us, that it's a shame so many of us will have moved on by this time next year. What would the administration have to sacrifice to create a professional environment such that, say, 80% of Read more [...]
This week moves by like
A tree sloth sick and wounded
And in no hurry
Is this week starting to drag, or is it just me?
When there is a break coming up, the amount of time every minute seems to take, from the teachers’ perspective, is a function of how many days until the break and how many instructional days the coming break is.
f(x, y) = z
Let x = the number of days remaining until the break.
Let y = the number of days of the coming break.
Let z = the number of minutes every minute in school Read more [...]
To reform a school
Assume the moral high ground
“All children can learn”
An improvable theory
If they fail, blame the teachers
This drives me crazy. "All children can learn." Let's "put children first". If we have high expectations for children, they will reach them. The children are the future. All children can learn at a high level if we engage them in the right way, provide appropriate supports, and on and on. Can they? Can all children do this? Since we can't blame parents or poverty or Read more [...]
Every time I crap
I must first wipe a kid’s pee
From the toilet seat
It’s the little things like this that sort of pile up on me.
Can I make a phone call when I want to? No.
Can I use the bathroom when I want to? No.
Can I read this blog or look for something on YouTube, even something for my students? No.
Must I be deferent to morons? Yes.
Am I generally treated like a child? Most definitely.
Mr. Teachbad
Hey, Everybody-
This goes out to alex102 and his sister who have requested a poem about aggressive, pushy parents who represent a repulsive and stressful element of teaching. Now, this isn't an area of expertise for me. I don't have the most hands-on parents. But here we go. We'll try Tanka: 5-7-5-7-7. Let me know what you think.
Where has the time gone?
Seems we talked not long ago
About your damn kid
You know, he’s just not that smart
Call me again…I’ll kill you
Congratulations on making Read more [...]
I’m pessimistic
Or maybe I don’t like kids
Cynical teacher
But none of these is the truth
It’s just an exhausting job
I am an urban public school teacher in a large school in a large city on the East Coast. But my true identity must remain hidden, for now. I'd like to quit, but I'm not trying to get fired.
I have been working and volunteering in education, in many different capacities, for 15 years. I believe in public education. Urban public education, in my view, is one of the most important Read more [...]
Here's mine...
We have The Program
It will be painful, but soon
You'll assimilate
Don't think. Just drink the kool-aid
Or do you hate the children?
I have worked in three public schools that represent a pretty broad range of administrative styles.
First, there was the principal who was sort of a tough guy, but he mostly left you alone. Because this was my first teaching job, and before I had taken any education course work, I could have used a little more guidance. I could come and bitch to him Read more [...]
It was a good day
My most obnoxious student
Moved to Kentucky
It was the best. I have this kid for two classes and he just will not or cannot stop talking and walking around. He's one of the few who I really believe has ADHD.
He came in early this morning with something for me to sign. He said "I'm outta here, Mr. Teachbad." I thought maybe he had been suspended, at best. Hopefully for a week. The news that he is moving made my heart swell. It's sort of too bad. I actually like him and think he's Read more [...]
You are so damn fat
I mean, just look at yourself
What have you eaten
So much of by seventeen?
Your man-boobs are disturbing
These kids are fat. I'm serious. And lazy. But let's talk about fat. I've never seen this before. Obesity run amuck. Type-2 diabetes in the mail. Put your money in dialysis machines. Do these kids expect to be able to fit into a car when they're 25? I don't think so.
That reminds me of a field trip we went on last year. They were huffin' and puffin', walking down a goddamn Read more [...]
Grading papers and exams
Makes my brain hurt
It’s not that it’s hard
It’s because it’s so easy
That it’s so hard
You’d think the repetition would
Act like friction on my palm
When I rake the leaves
A callous could form on my brain
To deaden the pain
A thick, rough patch of dead matter
I might possibly spare
But I feel it boring a hole
It gets deeper and penetrates
Other parts of my brain
Damaging things I might need
For my next job
The Involuntary Occupational Lobotomy
Is this how Read more [...]
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