Fire Drill Not Taken Seriously, Part I

FAKE EDUCATION NEWS Denver, CO Part One At precisely 12:19pm Monday the fire alarm at East High School in Denver, Colorado blared throughout the building. Jared Winslow had been trained for this moment and faced it with steely calm. Winslow, a 36-year-old social studies teacher and third floor co-captain of the East High Safety Team, is lean and upright. His jaw tightens as he recalls the smallest details of the undertaking he must now undertake. Teachbad Action News (TAN) was given unprecedented Read more [...]

More Fat Kids

Fat kids' PDA Like baked potatoes fighting Over the butter This poem is dedicated to my favorite obese boyfriend and girlfriend at school. They can often be seen waddling the halls together, sausage fingers locked linked (yeah, that's funnier); or in a deep embrace, each pair of chubby little arms trying to complete its lover's circumference. One time I saw them walking to school sharing an enormous jelly donut. I wanted to slap it out of their hands. Or at least grab it from them and make them Read more [...]

Why Do Teachers Quit?

Professional respect Intellectual debate Pain and gain The battle of ideas Recognition Climbing the ladder Closing the deal Surprises New challenges and power lunches Trust and opportunity These are the crucial elements That animate the teacher And drive him To look for a new job The following is a comment from the last post. Here is the comment, in italics, and my response: I understand your blog is primarily a medium for venting, and having been a classroom teacher, it’s probably a necessary Read more [...]

Does Teaching Make Me Stupid?

The need for a plan A sixteen year old finds Comprehensible Crafting thoughts and days this way In the end makes me dumber In general, I don't think this job is making me smarter. I could be holding steady or losing ground. But I'm pretty sure I'm not getting smarter. Now, there are different kinds of smart. I suppose I'm smarter about how to make lesson plans and smarter about how to work with kids. But that's just not the kind of smart I want to develop as a long term professional objective. I Read more [...]

It’s All About The Music, Man

Though most grudgingly And without full admission They’ve slowly come ‘round They will ask for my music Steely Dan, Zappa, and Beck I love this. I love playing music they've never heard, that sounds kinda strange...that they can't help but think is cool and want to know more about and hear louder. This week I had a student who asked me to play Bob Dylan because she remembered it from a class last year. I had another student who just didn't do anything and was really having a hard time in my Read more [...]

Oh God, Yes…YES!!…Let’s Have a Meeting!!!

It’s hard to take it Pretend. Go Along. Fake it. A half hour meeting About fire drill procedures We talked about this last week This actually happened. We had a whole staff meeting after school, maybe 150 people, about emergency procedures for this or that sort of emergency. That was the once-a-month all hands meeting for an hour after school. Fine. Talk about whatever you want. All I have to do is sit in a chair and I'm already in the building anyway. Plus there's snacks. But then the next Read more [...]

First Education Poetry Archive

Hi, There. It's me...Mr. Teachbad. Good to see you. As you may know, the format of this blog is generally that a poem will be introduced and is then followed by a rant on the subject at hand. Today I have reposted some of my favorite poems with links to respective rants. But there is also a new poem. A limerick this time. Here it comes: I like a stiff drink between classes It keeps me from kicking their asses We all get along I might sing a song Come get 'em, I'm writing hall passes (I have to Read more [...]

Technocracy and the School Without a Soul, Part II

You loved them so much Those darlings in your classroom So, VP, tell me Why teach for just three years? Destiny calls you to lead OK, the question from the last post was: What are these people good at? Why are almost all of the administrators in my school very young and have very little teaching experience? Isn't that odd? Why would you select people who don't have very much teaching experience to lead and supervise those who do? That's a fair question, right? I mean, usually the boss is someone Read more [...]

Technocracy and the School Without a Soul

Singular spirit Sadly sometimes is lost to Checking of boxes Technocracy: The government or control of society or industry by technical experts. (Oxford English Dictionary) I was recently at a mandatory, all-day professional development session....Do you feel me? We were all dreading it and mocking it mercilessly days before it had started. Well, I am here to report that it was outstanding. That's right. I'll say it again: It was outstanding. Now, the question you are asking yourself is, "Good Read more [...]

VA Math Department Linked to Another Murder-Suicide

EDUCATION NEWS -Charlottesville, VA For as long as most here can remember, the math department at Charlottesville High School in Charlottesville, VA has been a mysterious source of violence that has sometimes spilled out of the schoolhouse walls and into the surrounding community. This bucolic town of over 40,000 at the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains has again witnessed unspeakable violence, allegedly at the hands of its high school math department. All told, three math teachers and seven Read more [...]