FAKE EDUCATION NEWS
At precisely 12:19pm Monday the fire alarm at East High School in Denver, Colorado blared throughout the building. Jared Winslow had been trained for this moment and faced it with steely calm. Winslow, a 36-year-old social studies teacher and third floor co-captain of the East High Safety Team, is lean and upright. His jaw tightens as he recalls the smallest details of the undertaking he must now undertake.
Teachbad Action News (TAN) was given unprecedented Read more [...]
Fat kids' PDA
Like baked potatoes fighting
Over the butter
This poem is dedicated to my favorite obese boyfriend and girlfriend at school. They can often be seen waddling the halls together, sausage fingers locked linked (yeah, that's funnier); or in a deep embrace, each pair of chubby little arms trying to complete its lover's circumference. One time I saw them walking to school sharing an enormous jelly donut. I wanted to slap it out of their hands. Or at least grab it from them and make them Read more [...]
Pain and gain
The battle of ideas
Climbing the ladder
Closing the deal
New challenges and power lunches
Trust and opportunity
These are the crucial elements
That animate the teacher
And drive him
To look for a new job
The following is a comment from the last post. Here is the comment, in italics, and my response:
I understand your blog is primarily a medium for venting, and having been a classroom teacher, it’s probably a necessary Read more [...]
The need for a plan
A sixteen year old finds
Crafting thoughts and days this way
In the end makes me dumber
In general, I don't think this job is making me smarter. I could be holding steady or losing ground. But I'm pretty sure I'm not getting smarter. Now, there are different kinds of smart. I suppose I'm smarter about how to make lesson plans and smarter about how to work with kids. But that's just not the kind of smart I want to develop as a long term professional objective. I Read more [...]
Though most grudgingly
And without full admission
They’ve slowly come ‘round
They will ask for my music
Steely Dan, Zappa, and Beck
I love this. I love playing music they've never heard, that sounds kinda strange...that they can't help but think is cool and want to know more about and hear louder. This week I had a student who asked me to play Bob Dylan because she remembered it from a class last year. I had another student who just didn't do anything and was really having a hard time in my Read more [...]
It’s hard to take it
Pretend. Go Along. Fake it.
A half hour meeting
About fire drill procedures
We talked about this last week
This actually happened. We had a whole staff meeting after school, maybe 150 people, about emergency procedures for this or that sort of emergency. That was the once-a-month all hands meeting for an hour after school. Fine. Talk about whatever you want. All I have to do is sit in a chair and I'm already in the building anyway. Plus there's snacks.
But then the next Read more [...]
Hi, There. It's me...Mr. Teachbad. Good to see you.
As you may know, the format of this blog is generally that a poem will be introduced and is then followed by a rant on the subject at hand. Today I have reposted some of my favorite poems with links to respective rants. But there is also a new poem. A limerick this time. Here it comes:
I like a stiff drink between classes
It keeps me from kicking their asses
We all get along
I might sing a song
Come get 'em, I'm writing hall passes
(I have to Read more [...]
You loved them so much
Those darlings in your classroom
So, VP, tell me
Why teach for just three years?
Destiny calls you to lead
OK, the question from the last post was: What are these people good at?
Why are almost all of the administrators in my school very young and have very little teaching experience? Isn't that odd? Why would you select people who don't have very much teaching experience to lead and supervise those who do? That's a fair question, right? I mean, usually the boss is someone Read more [...]
Sadly sometimes is lost to
Checking of boxes
Technocracy: The government or control of society or industry by technical experts. (Oxford English Dictionary)
I was recently at a mandatory, all-day professional development session....Do you feel me?
We were all dreading it and mocking it mercilessly days before it had started. Well, I am here to report that it was outstanding. That's right. I'll say it again: It was outstanding.
Now, the question you are asking yourself is, "Good Read more [...]
For as long as most here can remember, the math department at Charlottesville High School in Charlottesville, VA has been a mysterious source of violence that has sometimes spilled out of the schoolhouse walls and into the surrounding community. This bucolic town of over 40,000 at the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains has again witnessed unspeakable violence, allegedly at the hands of its high school math department. All told, three math teachers and seven Read more [...]