Archive for the ‘Administrative Idiocy’ Category

It’s Official: We’re Out of Ideas

This is just getting embarrassing now; the way administrators flail about in hopes of finding the right combination of gimmicks to turn their schools around. It would be merely funny if it wasn’t also guaranteed to cause additional unnecessary stress for teachers, waste their time, and generally contribute to the disingenuous atmosphere of the school. Let me explain. I was told of a new initiative at my old school by a friend. That there is a new initiative is not surprising; there are many Read more [...]

Dear Teachers: Please Stop Being So Difficult

There is a terrible little book called Dealing With Difficult Teachers (2002) by Todd Whitaker. I’d been curious about this book since I saw it on my assistant principal’s Amazon wish list three years ago. I finally read it this week. It was even worse than I had imagined, both in terms of ideas and prose. So, let’s get started! What do you do with a difficult teacher? And what is a difficult teacher anyway? Difficult teachers are defined entirely by how the principal feels about what Read more [...]

Top 10 Reasons Teaching Sucks

Ladies and Gentlemen- I may have just distilled the entire teaching universe down to 10 talking points. See what you think. Let me know. TOP TEN REASONS YOU MAY NOT WANT TO BE A TEACHER 10) Become object of widespread public scorn; 9) Dignity offered as sacrifice to unholy lovechild of Bill Gates and Michelle Rhee; 8) Lazy, whiny, stupid, absent and/or unprepared students (which studies have shown to be the fault of teachers); 7) Need to use the bathroom? Great!! Your planning period Read more [...]

Teachbad’s “Struggling Students” Video

I hope you enjoy the video. It’s your favorite principal and teacher discussing struggling students. I also want to announce that the winner of the Photo Caption Contest is Ms. Cynthia Sloan for her submission: The Lack of Fathers is a Parent. For her winning entry, Cynthia will receive one free set of Teachbad Therapy Magnets. I would also like to add that Cynthia has a website full of resources for Spanish teachers, which I’m sure is very good. I looked around it myself and it definitely Read more [...]

Michelle Rhee, Superstar

Wow, Michelle Rhee. I’d like to hitch my wagon to yours. I mean, we both know there is no evidence that you know much about much. Including teaching. It seems you were a mediocre or maybe even a pretty good teacher for…what was it…two years? “Two and through”, am I right? Anyway, destiny was calling. You are pushy, stubborn, self-righteous and ambitious. Those qualities can get one far almost anywhere. Very far. But I see little more than this in you. I don’t believe you care any more Read more [...]

Time for a Hug

OK…we’re almost halfway through October and feeling like we want to blow our brains out. Right? I know. The routines and rituals have either robbed everyone of their dignity in the name of order, or not been implemented in the name of making you shout like a fool to get the class to sit down. Either way, your dignity is gone. And Columbus Day…what a goddamn joke. It was only two days ago and already you feel cheated. The only thing that seems farther away than Columbus Day is Thanksgiving. Read more [...]

The “Do Now”

It is referred to variously as a Do Now or a Warm-up or, if you are a hard-core edu-dork, an Activator. There may be other regional variants. And if you are a vice principal who is really intent on showing how out of touch you are, you can require teachers to engage in these at the beginning of staff meetings. It never fails to make you the object of ridicule after the meeting! Never. This is the thing that all of the kids are supposed to be engaged with actively, meaningfully, and immediately Read more [...]

Teachbad Sings: “Watch You Drown”

Hi, Folks- Mr. Teachbad has written a new song. I am aware that the bulk of my talent allotment has not been delivered in the form of singing, guitar-playing or song-writing abilities. So, once again, I have decided to combine all three into a one-stop wonder of mediocrity. Just for you. Watch You Drown Every time you hand me a rubric I want to push you off a bridge And watch you drown Every time I feel a little bit sick I’m gonna Read more [...]

I Hope You Are Settling In

By now everybody is back to work. Some have been at it for a long time already. I hope you are all settling in alright. Many of you are probably still stinging, sore and swollen from the many days of indoctrination and team-building to which you have recently been subjected. It takes time to heal. Alternate heat and cold. Stay hydrated. At this point, you may or may not be glad you didn’t have the guts to light yourself on fire in the gym like you planned. Last night I was rereading a couple Read more [...]

Respect Individuality (No, Silly, Not Yours)

What would happen if you told Dracula that you really needed him to stumble around a shopping mall all day long and eat human brains? He’d tell you to stick it up your ass, that’s what. I sleep all day, yo. I get up a little after dusk. Shower. Read the paper. I clean up my apartment a bit. Then I go out. I bite necks and drink blood. That’s what I do and I’m awesome at it. I’m not into that sloppy-ass zombie shit. Plus, I work alone. Hey…what’s dumber than a bunch of zombies staggering down Read more [...]