Top Ten Teacher Beliefs
The education reform movement clearly thinks that if it can just get teachers to do all the right things, the Achievement Gap will be crushed. But all the right things to do have to be sold to the teachers. The sales pitch is a core set of underlying beliefs. (Underlying the underlying beliefs is a soothing tonic of wishful thinking and emotional blackmail.)
By and large the beliefs are demonstrably false, which makes it all the more important that adherence to them be demonstrated amply through appropriate behaviors. Orwell would simply adore this system.
From personal experience and research I have painstakingly constructed what I am tentatively calling the
Top Ten Elemental and Necessary Beliefs and Convictions of the Modern Teacher (TTENBCMT):
10) All of my students will learn if I am a good teacher.
9) It is morally correct and operationally efficient to teach groups of students whose ability and motivation levels are different rather than groups that are similar.
8) I can control my students’ ability and motivation levels.
7) All of my students can do everything.
6) Test scores are not important, but bad things will happen to me if they do not go up.
5) The circumstances my students face at home are critical, but they are of no importance.
4) I can make my class more rigorous and challenging for each of my students while also making it more accessible to them.
3) “More accessible” may under no circumstances be taken to mean “easier”.
2) Use of my professional judgment is best kept to a minimum.
1) I am the disease and the cure.
Please feel free to quibble with any of the above or add your own. This could be great fun!
And, of course, don’t forget to do all of your holiday shopping in Teachbad’s Strictly Home-Use Teacher Superstore!!!
(Some of the pictures in the store don’t look that awesome and I am working on a full store makeover. I am not a computer genius or a graphic designer. But I am cheap. And I pass the savings on to you! These are quality products made with love….I love you. Plus, as of today, there have been no reports of identity theft from shopping in the Teachbad Store. I use PayPal. They’re, like, super safe. And they take some of the money. They don’t want your stupid identity. They want you to buy a “Pretty Good Teacher” mug so they get their cut. Everybody wins.)
Mr. Teachbad
I must believe that someday someone will tell me what differentiation IS. Every workshop I attend is 45 minutes of telling me what it is NOT: extra work, separate lessons, lowering of rigor. (Those things all sound an awful lot like what it is, but all those power-points can’t be wrong.)
Oooh, miss, miss miss! It’s not powerpoints!!
Pardon Me….all those multi-media presentations. LOL (Does anyone know what differentiation IS?)
differentiation: Everyone write an 500 word essay or you can draw a picture with crayons to express your feelings on the topic!:)
My picture would be of a hand with 4 fingers down and 1 finger up. You guess which finger is raised.
Ah yes, differentiation. I’d like to know what that means too. Here’s my working definition:
Differentiation – 1. we don’t like the way you teach, but don’t have a good reason why. 2. we heard this word at during an “educational leadership” conference, it sounds cool, so we want to use it.
Here’s a new idea for Mr. Teachbad: An eduspeak dictionary.
Teachbad, I live for your posts. I want to share them with every teacher I know, and even some that I don’t. This top 10 list is better than any I’ve seen on Letterman.
Let me add a couple more.
11. Teacher evaluations and principal walk-thrus are no big deal, however they are responsible for 50% of my evaluation.
12. If I care enough every student will learn. And every parent will appreciate me.
Every parent will appreciate you, because they will have someone else to blame when their kid acts like an a##hole!
Yes, the truly guilty always appreciate a scapegoat.
At Thanksgiving dinner, I had the good fortune to be seated next to a DOCTOR! Yes, a real live PHYSICIAN, who, when he found out that I was a high school teacher, kindly explained to me why my methods of teaching were failing with my students – the MILLENNIALS. Had I not been seated by this learned gentleman, I would never have known that I needed to differentiate, utilize technology, motivate each student by illustrating real-life applications. Upon my return to the classroom, I immediately implemented each of his directives. In one day, all of my students care about the subject matter, and are all taking ownership of their education. I think I have finally realized the true meaning of THANKSGIVING!
Perhaps you can reciprocate and send him your instructions on brain surgery.
Thank God for all these people who can do our jobs better than we can. When we are all fired because of Danielson’s Framework, it is good to know these people will be ready to do the job and be better at it. PHEW! I was worried…..
One day, in the hallway, I told my math supervisor that the only time I’ll be doing “differentiation” (a.k.a. “differentiated instruction”) in the classroom is when I’m teaching differential calculus. She quickly did an about face and ran down the hall with her tail between her legs!
Let’s all differentiate the same way.
1) I must believe that I am not entitled to a decent salary, that I should spend my own money on supplies, and that I should stay after school for free because “it’s for the kids.” I must believe that the welfare of my own children is less important than the children I teach.
2) I must believe that the latest and greatest teacher evaluations that my state has paid millions of dollars for, no one can understand, and take seven months for results will finally make me a better teacher and end the national security crisis of the “ineffective” teacher. To ask for an evaluation system that is fair, valid, and comprehensible means I do not want to be evaluated at all and that I prefer to sit at my desk with my feet up eating cheetos while the kids watch Hangover part II.
13. If I stick to the district program, my students will no longer have disabilities.
Here’s another one (an “updated” version of differentiated learning-points of entry. The lesson plan must show points of entry for all the different groups or individual students. In other words, kids jump into the lesson wherever they are on the learning curve, it’s up to the teacher to see that they “don’t fall”.
I heard “points of entry” today for the first time. I was told by my principal that I had to find a “point of entry” for my student who showed up today for the first time since early September. My technique was to pretty much ignore him since I couldn’t possibly get him caught up and teach the class at the same time. He won’t be back for another three months anyway – I don’t really see the point. This from a guy who taught music part time for 2 years before becoming an administrator.
holy moly I just thought of a good “point of entry” for kids that rarely show up, demand to know what they missed and refuse to do make up work because “I wasn’t here when you went over that” Point of entry —> up the butt
Point of Entry… isn’t that the door?
[where you smile and great each pupil with your "sincere" face..]
13) Administrators who’ve never taught a day in their lives know better than I.
Administrators are required to have teaching experience, they just got out of it as quick as they could.
Not if you go through NYC Leadership Academy.
you kidding? That is horrible!!!
Nope. While some of the people were teachers and APs, many are career change people. I guess if you went to school to be “something” that counts. Hey, I stayed in the hospital once, so now I can be a chief of surgery. However, I did read an article on Gotham Schools that they are considering slowing down the path to principalship since over 50% of the principals they have placed have either been removed or their schools closed.
1. Student attendance has no bearing on learning or my ability to teach. If I try hard enough, I will be able to teach those students who have never been to my class!
Correlative: Student engagement is reflected in attendance. High absentee rate is one indicator of a failed teacher who does not engage his/her students.
Oh yes. My students are late or absent because my Do Now Quiz is not engaging enough. My Bad!
This reminds me of one of my most favorite ever comments during an observation post-conference. My assistant principal told me that I would have higher attendance in my classes if my warm-ups were more engaging. That’s the kind of leadership and deep thinking they turn out at the Harvard Graduate School of Education. She’s a smarty!
They Harvardite knows its BS even as they say. It’s a verbal game of eduspeak. All players in this game of get -the-teacher know the score. They are just dicking with you when they say this crap. Even the kill- the- Teacher activists know they found a new big money charter school game. Check out the open your own charter websites.
Now there is a crackjack group of fuckers who desperately need to be introduced to Schroedinger’s Cat. (Or, possibly, be locked in a lead-lined box for a while.) Barring that, a 7th grade logic course would suffice.
I think this one is the funniest in this lastest-fad, diseased system:
“I can make my class more rigorous and challenging for each of my students while also making it more accessible to them.”
As a FORMER Special Education teacher, this one always cracked me up. Adding rigor for kids who are many grade levels behind….yeah, that’s the answer!! While making it more accessible of course as if that makes ANY sense what so ever.
It really must be the most backwards system on the planest. No question about it.
Isn’t wonderful how the World of Education(TM) takes ordinary words and warps their meaning until they are utterly useless?
You can bet your bottom dollar, no one running the Education Freakshow(TM) could identify “rigorous” even if it walked up and introduced itself.
I have long been convinced that every time an educational researcher says the word “rigor,” someone loses an IQ point. You know, sort of like “every time a bell rings, an angel gets her wings”–only more depressing.
Thanks! I stumbled onto this site and your top ten just relieved a lot of stress caused by a principal walk-through where he reamed me for not having the EQ and the Agenda posted clearly in the room and because my lesson plan didn’t include a medial summary or a motivation – both of which “ineffective practices” interfered with my students’ learning. He didn’t notice that I had a class of unmotivated tenth graders, most of whom had never read a whole book in their lives, finishing The Kite Runner and having a lively discussion about the book. Ugh!
It doesn’t matter that they were engaged. He couldn’t follow the lesson because it didn’t “look” good enough.
“Students whose parents do not provide adequate nutrition, shelter, discipline, and school supplies are just as ready to learn and succeed as students whose parents DO provide these things — if I only care enough, work harder, and do more.”
I must believe that having a topic related aim question is no longer appropriate. It should be about a skill, not the topic of the book I am teaching. WTH??????
Yes, I am having this same issue. I am not supposed to teach content. I am supposed to teach skills. Reading is not a skill, for example (??!), but finding the main idea is. Vocabulary is not a skill, but strategies for dissecting words are skills. Content is “out” and skills are “in”. I think they’re purposely trying to make kids all hate school. They want them to spend all their time practicing inane strategies and learning nothing. Then we wonder why kids have no basic understanding of the world.
Bronxteacher wrote: “I think they’re purposely trying to make kids all hate school. They want them to spend all their time practicing inane strategies and learning nothing. Then we wonder why kids have no basic understanding of the world.”
IF I was a conspiracist, I would say that our government wants the general public, both of the present and of the future, to be complete morons. That way, government can screw over people even more than they have been and would get away with doing so easier than stealing candy from a baby.
Make no bones about it, we ARE getting dumber and dumber folks. Scary stuff…
I’ve thought maybe it’s a conspiracy to privatize the school system. Make sure most of the public schools “fail” and close them down!
No class time shall ever be used for any type of social interaction (celebrating birthdays, holidays etc.) The principal however will host a Christmas faculty party to promote staff cohesiveness and because it is a human thing to do,
OMG, do you work at my school? I was told last year I was not to inquire about students’ Thanksgiving, nor could I respond when asked about mine. So when they asked (b/c they can be polite and caring) I said, “Thank you for asking, but I can’t discuss anything not in the curriculum.” ha ha
15: if I do all the impossible tasks, my job will be safe:)
I say: You will all be canned eventually so ignore this crap and do whatever you like. Prepare some crap in advance if you are worried about an admin visit, but then just forget it. They don’t show up often and even if you knock yourself out doing the impossible , the admin will inevitably come at the worst possible moment anyway. Why not teach they way you want to and see how long it takes them to can you?
Yes, they certainly do come at the worst times…and you better believe it’s on purpose too. Most, if not all, teachers say the same thing. It’s impossible for it to be a coincidence on such a large scale.
I remember the monster from one of my previous schools would often walk in 5 minutes prior to the day’s end.
She would always come in with the biggest pus on her face too. ALWAYS.
What a miserable BLEEP she was…
I agree except that mine to show up. A Lot, Like once or twice a week a lot. Sometimes twice in one day!!!
They just want to keep you on your toes. Otherwise, we know you will sit on your chair and stare at the ceiling, drooling and all.
Yes, because my Do Now is so engaging that the kids don’t need me and I just fade away….
Ah, Mr. Teachbad and commenters, you have made my day! As I approach the end of another semester teaching community college sophomores, I keep banging my head against the wall, trying to figure out why I keep this job when all the cards are stacked against me -cards like CATs reports and evaluations (which accomplish nothing except waste my time and sanity), students who are lazy, no-shows, convinced they are entitled to good grades simply because they registered for the class, unskilled, clueless and dishonest. Knowing I’m not alone makes all the difference…that, and the few students who really do desire a challenge and intellectual growth. Why do we insist that all students should have equal opportunity when they clearly aren’t student material??
“Why do we insist that all students should have equal opportunity when they clearly aren’t student material??”
Because this extremely politically-correct world says that’s the way it should be and makes it so.
More bs emails from the New York City Department of Micromanagement….oops, I mean Education.
Btw, this paragraph stood out:
“I recognize change is never easy, but the Common Core standards – developed by mapping backwards from the skills higher education faculty and employers identified as critical to success and internationally benchmarked – are the best way to ensure our students have the skills they need to succeed in college and careers.”
Really? Any PROOF behind that? Mapping BACKWARDS…how true!!!
Anyway, Check it out below:
Message from Commissioner King
During the week before Thanksgiving, I went to Long Island, Queens and Staten Island to visit some of the schools and communities impacted by Hurricane Sandy. And what I saw in those classrooms and neighborhoods left me in awe. I cannot begin to express how impressed I was by the courage and dedication I saw. Even in the face of personal loss, the amazing teachers, principals, faculty and staff have given students a safe haven and a return to normalcy. From Long Beach to Lindenhurst, Belle Harbor to Staten Island, everyone is pulling together to help students get through these difficult times and continue to learn.
Every New Yorker owes a debt of gratitude to the men and women who work in those school buildings. Last year, we saw the same response upstate and all along the Southern Tier when Hurricane Irene struck: a remarkable sense of urgency and commitment to get students back into class and learning. New York educators are truly extraordinary.
The new and improved EngageNY.org is here. The latest version of EngageNY.org is up and running, with great new resources for teachers, school leaders, and parents and families. The site has an expanded video library, and we’re adding new videos on a regular basis.
The site is a virtual toolbox for Common Core implementation. The Common Core Learning Standards for ELA, Math and Pre-K are there. So are a number of Common Core implementation resources (a description of the instructional shifts, an implementation timeline, professional development videos, the Tri-State rubric for evaluating curriculum materials, publishers’ criteria from the Common Core authors, etc.). EngageNY.org also has Common Core sample assessment items and test guides.
And there are a number of Common Core curriculum exemplars available at EngageNY.org. When New York State first committed to the Common Core in 2010, it was anticipated that districts would use that time to develop curriculum in preparation for the implementation of the standards this year. Even though school districts have always been responsible for developing curriculum aligned with state standards and providing professional development, SED is developing a complete set of P-12 curriculum modules in ELA and Math that school districts will be able to adopt or adapt; of course, districts are also free to use any Common Core curriculum materials they have developed over the past two years.
Please visit EngageNY.org on a regular basis.
I recognize change is never easy, but the Common Core standards – developed by mapping backwards from the skills higher education faculty and employers identified as critical to success and internationally benchmarked – are the best way to ensure our students have the skills they need to succeed in college and careers. Delay only leaves our students further behind – they won’t get a second chance to experience 4th grade or sophomore year.
Our students don’t have time to wait; their future is being shaped in classrooms today. And right now, educators in classrooms all across the state are using the Common Core standards to make sure that future is bright.
Thank you for everything you do every day to help our students learn.
Sincerely,
John B. King, Jr.
Commissioner
Follow me on Twitter @JohnKingNYSED
2013 Test Guides for English Language Arts & Mathematics
In prior years, the State Education Department has released one Test Guide focused primarily on test administration. This year, for the first time SED has prepared 2013 Test Guides for each subject and grade. In an effort to provide educators with as much support as possible regarding the instructional and assessment shifts necessitated by the Common Core, the Department has prepared 2013 Test Guides for English Language Arts and Mathematics in grades 3-8. The Test Guides integrate important instructional and assessment information into a single document and detail how the Common Core Learning Standards in English Language Arts and Mathematics will be measured on the 2013 tests and supplement the other Common Core implementation resources found on EngageNY.org.
For more information and for copies of the Test Guides, please visit:
http://engageny.org/resource/test-guides-for-english-language-arts-and-mathematics
State Education Department Launches
Virtual Learning Initiative
The State Education Department has awarded grants to 17 school districts and local consortia of districts under New York State’s virtual learning initiative, Virtual Advanced Placement (VAP) Program. VAP is targeted to improve access to online and blended Advanced Placement (AP) courses for low-income students. The program is part of the Board of Regents’ strategy to ensure that all New York students graduate from high school ready for college and careers.
The federal funds will enable students and teachers statewide to participate in Advanced Placement (AP) and pre-AP classes and exams. Seventeen VAP Program grants worth a total of $17,359,098 will be distributed to individual school districts and consortia of school districts led by Boards of Cooperative Educational Services (BOCES) to develop online and blended courses (which combine online and traditional classroom instruction). The courses will be taught by school district or BOCES teachers.
For more information about the Virtual Learning Initiative, please visit: http://www.oms.nysed.gov/press/VirtualLearningInitiative.html.
Commissioner’s Teacher Advisory Council
Earlier this month, State Education Commissioner John B. King, Jr. announced the creation of the Commissioner’s Teacher Advisory Council. The Council, formed in collaboration with New York State United Teachers (NYSUT), will meet periodically to discuss on-going education issues, in particular, the progress of the New York State Board of Regents Reform Agenda.
The Council consists of teachers recommended by NYSUT as well as teachers recommended by the New York State Charter Schools Association, nonpublic school teachers, the three most recent New York State Teachers of the Year, National Board Certified Teachers, and several appointments by Commissioner King.
“Our goal is to make sure every student in New York graduates ready for college or a career,” King said. “The Council will help us stay on track toward that goal and NYSUT’s strong support of the Council will help make sure it’s a success.
“The teachers on the Council will give direct feedback from the frontlines of reform – the classroom,” King added. “The most important thing we can do as educators is maintain focus on the students, and these extraordinary teachers will help us do just that.”
For more information and the list of Council members, please visit:
http://www.oms.nysed.gov/press/CommissionersTeacherAdvisoryCouncilAnnounced.html
If Backward planning starts with the final assessment, when will NYSED roll out the new 2014 English Regents?
So, in other words, those of you who are fortunate enough to be among “the CHOSEN” will continue to teach through “virtual learning environments.” The rest of you….good luck.
#whatever:
Merit pay schemes will motivate me to stop using my typical shitty lessons and get out the really super awesome ones that I have kept locked in a drawer all these years.
Oh, man, that was a good one, Rhesus!r
and I will unveil all my engaging Do Now assignments since I will finally be paid for their worth.
I suppose your top ten are inferences you have drawn, but I have a better one, which was explicitly taught to me at a workshop for MCPS teachers: “Every student is capable of rigorous academic work at a high level.” There it was, on a big poster at the front of class. Every student.
I don’t believe this saying needs any comment, being already a parody of things of its sort.
1)I will happily spend multiple hours collaborating with my colleagues on meaningless b.s. like helping to create new holistic rubrics. Noone in my small group will be the type of teacher that will make or appreciate snarky comments about this process or the waste of time that I could be using to actually grade or plan.
2) I will teach 4-5 different subjects per day, run a student club, and use my one prep hour to have a meeting or substitute for an absent teacher (the rest of the day, I will still sub for that teacher because her class is ‘right next door to yours’
3)I will be evaluated by a new teacher evaluation form that a for profit company is creating. This new evaluation process requires my feedback and input, although neither is appreciated or valued, and even though this is a pilot process with constantly changing criteria, the evaluation will count against me