Fresh Awesome in the Teachbad Store!!
As mid-autumn teacher depression and anxiety finds its sweet spot, and in time for thoughtful holiday gift-giving, Mr. Teachbad is delighted to offer two BRAND NEW products to our growing line of Strictly Home-Use Teacher Gifts. Check ‘em out. I especially like the Pretty Good Teacher mug.
Back
And then there’s this:
You can buy these and other inspiring Home-Use Teacher Gifts inside!
In addition to expanding our selection of truly amazing products, the store has also been renamed. It used to be called Teachbad’s Teacher Porn Store. From the search engine data I was receiving, it seemed likely to me that some people were ending up in the Teacher Porn Store looking for something perhaps more literal. Thus we have settled on the more literal and accurately descriptive name: Strictly Home-Use Teacher Gifts.
Look at the new stuff and check out some deals. You’ll be glad you did! And so will my wife. Our basement is full of coffee cups, boxes of magnets and squeezable teacher balls. She thinks I’ve lost my mind!
But the only thing that’s crazy around here are the DEALS you’ll find on UNIQUE, OFFENSIVE and ORIGINAL Teachbad products only available HERE!!!!!
Mr. Teachbad
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Ooh, I think I managed to order these now that I have convinced the teachbad store that I do not live in Wyoming…
Yeah…not sure why it defaults to Wyoming. I’m not sure if anybody really lives there aside from Dick Cheney. It’s last alphabetically. Maybe that’s why. Just scroll the drop down menu to your preferred state.
Hi: just ordered mugs!!
Putting out an SOS. Help. Want advice from teachbad crowd. This year I have 22 sections—all at a school that I am new at this Sept.
I have the 7th grade at two last periods. They come with coats on and bags packed. I have asked for help. No joke! I spoke up and told the school that besides the fact that the class size is Hugh, last period twice a week is crippling in and of itself. The kids seem to believe that if they all talk, laugh and over shout my voice that I can’t flunk ‘em all. I handed out interim reports last week informing the kids that I will be doing just that. I think if they flunk first marking they might just shut the f up. I will fail around seven. Give a couple of A’s and most will get D and C. This may just be a career decision. They will want my gradebook which really doesn’t exist-although- it will. When no one does next to zip, grades aren’t real hard to figure out. Only a few even attempted my assignments. They just ran around and shouted etc.,,, I am so sick of this crap. I can’t believe I have to the good kids A’s because it wasn’t their fault that their classmates wouldn’t let me teach. I’m going to do this and if I wasn’t a complete hypocrite they would all flunk. There will be a shit storm. Hello out there!!!
Last period classes are difficult for students and teachers. Suggestions:
Observe learning styles.
Move from specific to general.
Do the students learn better by doing and seeing- do less “talking at”
Find out interests of the students ie: tv programs, songs, slang words, etc.
Find a person that the students know or know of – local mailman, policeman with dog,coach at the school, – even a cardboard cut out of President Obama. Ask several students to come to front of class and interview ie: President Obama how old is Bo. How was Bo trained to act right in the White House? Reach back to election time. Why do the people around the President wear funny things in their ears, etc. How are special dogs trained in their neighborhood. Writing assignments, vocabulary can be used in later classes.
Kids live big words – find some big words to add to vocabulary.
Develop some of your own curriculum for now. What am I going to teach? Why? How and have I succeeded. Until you get control of the class…not much else will work. Failing grades usually do not work.
Try putting students in circles at tables? Ask a long time teacher to come in and help you or to observe. Ask a parent/caretaker to come in – (someone who knows the students by name) Do it for the students and for your health!! Good Luck!
JC: if you had been following , you’d know I work in a computer lab and I am locked into the room arrangement. I appreciate your insight though. I have been in the bus for a long time and have already tried and thought of most of your ideas, but it was good to have a reminder. I am so pissed that I can’t get any help of any kind as you suggest. I had other teachers help to no avail. I made screen shots and detailed handouts so that even if a kid couldn’t see or hear me, it was all written out. This accounts for the few kids who tried. I suppose I could bag the “Learn computer science idea altogether and teach about Obama although I think my class would be the same as all their other classes . The PD approach and the “it’s the teachers fault model” unfortunately is usually a very helpful place to start. Just because eduspeak ideas are not always the answer does not mean that the ideas aren’t good. Most of the techniques are good- but not always. I will try to go back into the teacher bag of tricks and reach for ideas. Maybe I should do a different kind of class. Thank you
Has anyone noticed that Obama doesn’t like dogs? I have been around dogs and people who love dogs all my life and you can just tell he doesn’t like that sweet dog. He got Bo because everyone in the White House gets dogs!
I know I’m “off task and topic” but I needed to share my observation.
Hey, isn’t there anybody out there reading this? Is it ok with y’all if I just stop teaching my subject and give out good grades to study some crap that might amuse the kids more? Doesn’t anyone give a s…? An I supposed to find out about their favorite MTV songs and “teach” about obama’s pets etc? Isn’t this academically dishonest? Maybe I should just turn on Jerry Springer and have them write a sentence about their opinion on the topic? F the actual class?? Are u out there?
It will be hard to top the advice you already got, but here goes.
1. Have you tried Do Nows? I hear the kids love to be engaged at the beginning of every period with a objective relevant hook.
2. Also, have you considered using rubrics to help establish a clear set of expectations so the the grades they earn, I mean that you award, are meaningful?
3. Circular grouping is certainly a well established method, but have you tried the new Kaleidoscope Regrouping Activity Procedure (KRAP)? Students begin class in standard row formation and then every 7 1/2 minutes, shift desk positions in mirrored maneuvers that the students design and coordinate. Music can accompany this KRAP and to be truly student centered, it should be student selected. The 7 1/2 time slot is strongly suggested as it is the average wait time between television programing and commercials. Again it is important to be sensitive to the way technology has reshaped student learning styles and any thing beyond say 12 minutes will only have a corrosive effect on any student learning.
4. Finally, to address your end of the day issue. Exit Passes are excellent measurements of student learning. Perhaps you need to change the way you view your students. Just think. These are students who come to class with their coats on and bags packed! They are already dressed and armed for Exit Passes! Do you know how many teachers would kill to have a group of students demonstrating that amount of enthusiasm for an end of class assessment activity?
Perhaps you need to look in the mirror, TeachBaby. The problem doesn’t seem to be your eager, misguided students. The solutions have been provided; you just need to recognize how to use them.
Perhaps this tutorial on as little something called Differentiated Instruction may help:
Honestly? nobody gives a shit (can we no longer say shit here? Damn.)
Here’s what the public wants:
(1)a holding cell for the shiftless youth they can’t stand (don’t let ‘em out early even if they’re packed up and ready to roll)
(2)all the students get As, because they are way smarter than teachers. Everyone knows that, because in school they were smarter than their teachers.
(3)All students graduate on time from high school.
The real goal:
Students don’t really know anything, so that the wealthy can continue to exploit them, and the parents aren’t made to feel stupid by their kids.
Darling, it’s middle school, all the kids know that their grades don’t matter one iota: they will carry on being moved from grade to grade until high school, where they probably will not have the misfortune to meet someone like me who will only pass them in a class if they know something.
I suggest you give them all As. For arsehole. But nobody will either ask or know. Or care.
I understand that facebook is very entertaining on the computer. And you could say they are writing…