Teachbad: Teachbad Book Club Going “Pretty Badly”
FAKE EDUCATION NEWS
Mr. Teachbad, author and creator of the wildly popular Mr. Teachbad’s Blog of Teacher Disgruntlement, says he is “less than giddy” about his first venture into the cutthroat world of online teacher book clubs and adds that the “whole thing is going pretty badly.” Mr. Teachbad’s audience of unhappy, disgruntled, angry, saddened, forlorn, castigated and otherwise disenfranchised, disaffected, downtrodden teachers has responded poorly to the first discussion in the book club series.
Teachbad Education News (TEN) caught up with the reclusive Mr. Teachbad to ask him about the details.
TEN: Hey, Teachbad. What’s up with the book club? How is it going?
TEACHBAD: Well, like I said before, it’s going pretty badly.
TEN: Why do you think that is?
TEACHBAD: I’m not sure. I thought I picked a pretty good title: “Why Great Teachers Quit”. Doesn’t that sound about right for me?
TEN: Sounds awesome. Right up your alley.
TEACHBAD: Exactly! Thank you. The title of this book says it all. It’s about why teaching can suck and make you want to quit. The blog is basically the same thing. The only difference is that the blog is more vulgar and indulging in extended depictions and mockery of real, awful people and explicit fantasies of defiance and illegality. But the general themes of the book and the blog are the same. I don’t fuckin’ get it.
TEN: Get what?
TEACHBAD: Why the first book club eventacular post is in the bottom 1-to-2 percent in terms of comments received by readers. Check this out: the post announcing that there would be a book club has so far received more than three times as many comments as the actual book club post.
TEN: So, what are you going to do?
TEACHBAD: I can wait.
TEN: What do you mean? Wait for what?
(Mr. Teachbad is now standing and pacing and seems to be addressing an audience that is not present…)
TEACHBAD: So…how many of you read the book?…Yeah, THIS book. The one we talked about for A MONTH. Hands up….That’s what I thought.
We previewed difficult vocabulary. We put them on the word wall. We filled out a reading log and we think-pair-shared until we all wanted to kill ourselves. We used graphic organizers and talked through our norms for discussion and I read half the book to you IN CLASS for Christ’s sake! And nobody has anything to say?
Wait…I see what’s happening…I lay it out and nobody picks it up.
OK…but I’m not going to give up on you…I will not allow my biases and low expectations to dictate your failure. Never. This is my responsibility.
You see, reading opens up other worlds for you to explore and if you miss out….wait.
Oh my God…you people have put me back in the classroom.