Please Interpret Teachbad’s Dream
I just had a crazy-ass dream and the details are fading fast so let me get this down…
I am walking around the grounds of Catholic University in Washington, DC. I stop and sit under a tree or on a bench; I don’t remember. I fall asleep and start to dream.
In my dream’s dream, I was in my classroom during first period, which is my planning period. I was working on something stupid or tedious or probably both. I got bored and decided to go for a walk. I was walking around the grounds of Catholic University. Walking and thinking; desperately not wanting to go back.
I stopped and sat down somewhere. Under a tree, on a bench; I don’t remember. I fall asleep and start to dream. I dream that I wake up and it’s five minutes until my second period starts, but I’m about 20 minutes away from school and have nothing planned for them at all.
Total panic. Heart racing.
I’m going to get in trouble for not being there and then again for having nothing planned. I start running back to school, my mind racing to think of a good story I can tell my dragon-lady principal. I’m about to call my friend Kate in her classroom to help me with a good story idea when I wake up…in the dream…
(Note: So the real me is still asleep, dreaming that he has just woken up from a dream. The dreaming me, in the dream, is awake. I think. OK?)
I’m disoriented and not sure if I’m dreaming or awake. Am I going back to school, or don’t I work there anymore? I’m about to call Kate again to help me shed some light on these things. I stop running and start to think. Slowly I begin to figure it out.
1) I’m awake, still on the grounds of Catholic University;
2) And most important, I don’t work at that school anymore
It was all a dream. In a matter of moments, clarity builds and then is eclipsed by a mind-body-orgasm-like experience that probably would have killed me in real life. I don’t work at that place anymore. An indescribable feeling of relief and joy and lightness; immortality. And I didn’t even want to fall asleep afterward.
Then it got weird and unrelated to teaching.
I was awake and not late for second period, but I still had to get home. So I start walking down streets that are sort of familiar because in real life I do live near Catholic University. As I’m walking, I notice I am wearing large boot-like slippers; maybe something like Uggs, but with lots of clasps and zippers. One of them has something in it, and it’s uncomfortable.
I sit down to take off the slipper. I reach in and pull a woman’s slipper out of my own. It is a small, very fancy slipper. More like a little shoe, maybe. It has a small heel and sort of like feathery-fuzzies on the front, open on both sides. I picture Marylin Monroe wearing this. Elegant and spotlessly clean and new.
As I’m sitting on the curb looking at it, I see its match sitting under some sort of drainpipe or wedged under a cement slab. It’s definitely a match; same slipper, same size, the other foot. But it’s all crappy. The feathery-fuzzies are caked in grime and nasty.
I don’t remember if I picked that one up, left the clean one there, or what. The slippers are gone.
(Note: Here’s the other thing. I don’t remember now which slipper was clean and which was dirty.)
And here comes my son and my dog. They’re walking with me now. We’re headed home. The dog doesn’t have a leash or a collar and runs across a busy street. Doesn’t get hit, but probably will when she runs back to us. Me and my son are running now and looking for a place to cross to go get the dog. A woman has walked up to the dog and we can see her looking for a collar and an owner. My son and I cross the street and reach the woman and the dog.
I grab the dog by the scruff of the neck and start trying to pull her toward home, where I really want to be right now. I’m moving pretty fast with the dog and my son falls behind. Me and the dog stop. When my son catches up, he doesn’t look the same. He is about 5 years younger; a perfect 4-year-old version of himself.
So I ask, matter of factly, “Why are you so small?”
He doesn’t respond directly but asks, “Why are my shoes so big?”
I say, “I don’t know.”
I ask, “Why are you wearing Alex’s jacket?”
He says, “I don’t know.”
(Note: Alex is one of my son’s best friend’s little brother and I have no idea what the fuck his jacket looks like.)
Then we just start walking, but more slowly because now he’s 4 instead of 9. Whatever.
Now it starts to break up…the real me is really starting to wake up…my son and the dog disappear…and just before I snap out of this, my daughter shows up.
I’m walking. I don’t know where I am anymore, but I haven’t made it home. She’s running behind me and I don’t see her. She catches me, turns me around, gives me a great big hug and says, “You’re supposed to be my knight in shining armor!”
Does anybody have a full or partial interpretation of this dream? What sort of help should I be seeking?