Teachbad Sings: “Watch You Drown”
Hi, Folks-
Mr. Teachbad has written a new song. I am aware that the bulk of my talent allotment has not been delivered in the form of singing, guitar-playing or song-writing abilities. So, once again, I have decided to combine all three into a one-stop wonder of mediocrity.
Just for you.
Watch You Drown
Every time you hand me a rubric
I want to push you off a bridge
And watch you drown
Every time I feel a little bit sick
I’m gonna stay at home
Though I feel OK after all
Every time you come in a bit late
To a meeting we both know’s
About nothing at all
I want to slash all your tires
And take a great big dump
On your front lawn
Chorus:
Every time you hand me a rubric
I want to push you off a bridge
And watch you drown
Every time you hand me a rubric
You make us both look like a clown
Every time you hand in a paper
Three weeks late, you think it’s great
But it sucks, I swear
I’m gonna travel back in time to drug store
I gonna buy your daddy a condom to wear
Every time you tell me you’re ‘about to’
I know I can stop listening
Right there and then
You’re full of shit
And I’ve heard all of it before
I’ll see you right back here next year again
Chorus
Every time you say you’re glad to see me
Well I know you can’t stand me
And I can’t stand you
We could just pass each other
Quietly in the hallway
I could smile and nod
And you could smile and nod, too
Chorus
(This song is dedicated to blueblack, the velvet pleaser.)
Mr. Teachbad
Thank you, Mr. Teachbad.
Thanks, Mr. Teachbad.
The “paper-condom” verse is fucking hilarious, and dead-on.
Are you available for in-school concerts? You could wander up and down the hallways singing and playing, and maybe ad-lib a few lines whenever you see a student doing something stupid; call them out in grand style… Which would be like every ten seconds; you’d have to make-up a lot.