Biology Teacher Running Low on Toner
FAKE EDUCATION NEWS
Christine Worthington, tenth grade biology teacher at Yaaḵoosgé Daakahídi Alternative High School in Juneau, Alaska, is getting nervous about toner. And sources say she should. With state-wide budget cuts and her general proclivity to be disorganized, Worthington may be in a bit of a pickle.
Worthington confesses to routinely printing readings, worksheets and other handouts for the whole class from her classroom laser printer. “I know it’s not sustainable and that I have a problem”, admits Worthington, 37. “I should really get this stuff to the copy room the night before. But at 3:30 I just want to run out of here as fast as I can….I’m working on it.”
“I really have to clamp down on the kids, too,” added Worthington. “The English teachers always figure it out first because they have a lot of writing…’Don’t EVER let kids print out papers in your classroom’…period. I’m a bit of a softie and ran my ass right out of toner in a hurry last year with the English papers…’Ms. Worthington, Mr. Jasgonijed won’t let me print my paper for him and it’s due TODAY!’…So I let them print. Then I run out of toner and that bitch in the office won’t give me more….I can see it right behind her.
“God…now I have this line about two inches from the left where it’s really light when I print…pain in my ass…so I take out the cartridge and shake it…good to go for two days.
“I g-chatted a teacher friend of mine in Montana and complained. She said, ‘You have a printer in your classroom?!?!?!…Go fuck yourself.’ I guess the grass is always greener…”
1) Mr. Teachbad now has a Facebook page. He’s not entirely sure why. But let’s see what happens. If you friend me, I promise to never ask you to get kidnapped, play that farm game, answer 21 mafia questions, or any of that other shit. I don’t even know how to friend people myself…so I can’t tell you how to do it. But you probably know. My name on facebook (by accident) is Teachbad Snooky and my email address is email@example.com. Let’s be friends.
2) Here is a song that’s been back in my head since I heard it in a bar last week. (Who says the English have bad teeth?);
“May the road rise with you”,