NEW!!!: Ask Mr. Teachbad
Mr. Teachbad is attempting to capitalize on the long-standing tradition of the advice column. I am inspired most, of course, by Miss Manners. Then there was the dynamic duo of Dear Abby (now written by her daughter)and Ann Landers (they were sisters, don’tcha know?). In the modern age we have Dan Savage, Dear Prudence, Ask a Black Dude, and so many more. Since I don’t have an actual column, we will just do it here on the Teachbad Blog.
Here’s how it works:
You, the reader, submit to me a question or problem you need resolved that should be at least tangentially related to teaching and described in a couple hundred words or less. No problem is too big or too small; too bizarre or mundane; too freaky or geeky. Bring it on. I can help. If I can’t help you, I bet I can make you laugh. If I can’t make you laugh, I bet I can make somebody else laugh at you. That’s something, right? Don’t be so selfish. It’s not all about you.
Help me help you to help me help you. I mean it. We can do this. But you have to believe in me. And you have to agree that I may edit your question for length and I may insult you.
Put “advice” in the subject line. I will not include your email or any other information. If you sign off as “Pissed in Peoria”, that’s the way the world will know you.
You could also be:
Fucked in Flagstaff
Sad in Salem
Dissed in Denver
Wasted in Washington
Nerdy in the Netherlands
BellyBelly321
Depressed in the West
The Beast from the East
Drunk in Des Moines
Lost in Los Angeles
Blood on Your Saddle
Reading in Reading
Caught on Cape
Trailer Teacher
The Phallus from Dallas (maybe check this one for copyright)
Morose in Montrose
With Gaul from St. Paul
Hoping to Die-O Here in Ohio
Maybe you are:
The Duke of Dubuque
Hell, you could be
Larry from Gary or
Austen from Boston
…so many other possibilities. I don’t really care. Just send me a question.
We’re open for business and ready to make a difference. For kids.
Mr. Teachbad
mr.teachbad@gmail.com
Dear Mr. Teachbad,
How do I make my students, on average 6 grade levels below standard, become on average 3 grade levels above standard, in one school year? I am being told this is my SMART goal (achievable being the operative word) so I am sure it can be easily done, but nobody seems to be able to tell me how. It must be common knowledge because they all insist this is my goal, even though I tried to explain that I was supposed to set my own SMART goal. Plus my district says they are data driven, so they must have the data to prove that this can be done.
I am sure that you know. Please share.
With big eyes of sincerity, I am
Adrift in America
I’ve always wondered if there is any data that proves data driven SMART goals are effective.
Dear Mr. Teachbad,
I really want to retire tomorrow.
Can you help me win tonight’s Powerball so I can do so?
Thanks,
Hopeful in Hell, Michigan
Dear Mr. Teachbad,
Why is it totally impossible to move the kids who aren’t ready for my math class down to a lower level, but my kids who are ready for a higher level get moved out of my class immediately? Is the system being rigged to keep my average low? Has my administration simply decided that those kids are going to fail no mater what class they’re in, so they might as well fail a higher math class rather than a lower one?
Thanks in advance,
Musky in Maryland
Dear Mr. Teachbad,
Okay, this kid has been absent for weeks from my fourth period. I saw him the cafeteria and walked over to his table. He “informed” me he had a schedule change, but could not recall when, his current class, teacher or subject.
He would not budge to go to the office. As I walked off, he yelled, “Whatever you fat a** b***ch! Get out of here with your fat a** self!” It took every inch of my willpower to not turn around and curse his-not-too-skinny-self out. Now I have to tolerate this kid in my classroom while being polite and positive the rest of the school year??? Please advise this burning out eight year HS “veteran.” BTW, the AP’s are always on lunch duty, but I could not a single one was there at the time!
Dear Mr.Teachbad,
How can I manage a classroom full of rude, yappy adolescents. It is illegal to beat them…so far I have tried: willpower, consistency, volatility, detachment, cake, donuts, gangsta rap, Not to mention black magick.
Any suggestions?
Dear Mr.Teachbad,
How can I manage a classroom full of rude, yappy adolescents? It is illegal to beat them…so far I have tried: willpower, consistency, volatility, detachment, cake, donuts, gangsta rap, Not to mention black magick.
Supposedly, this is a simple procedure that I should have mastered long ago. Or so the administration claims.
Any suggestions?