Teachbad in the Middle
I’ve been teaching for six years. I know I’m not going to retire as a teacher. But what am I going to do? At a certain point you sort of get locked into this…but that’s another topic.
What I want to talk about now is comfort. New teachers are busting their asses, worried all the time. Too nervous to even start smoking yet. Not comfortable.
Veterans, those who have been around for at least 9 or 10 years, have either quit smoking or just don’t give a shit anymore.
Patience while I home in on this idea…
I’m in the middle. I quit smoking, but I’m still always on edge about the fact that I have to have some shit ready to go every single day when I go to work. Every day I have to get to work before 8:00am and I have to have three hours of stand up and audience participation activities ready to go. It’s maddening. I don’t lose sleep over it anymore, but I did. Every day is somehow full of surprises, yet utterly predictable. You either have to do the same kinds of stuff over and over and recycle and recycle or drive yourself crazy.
At any moment one of our young and humorless administrators could walk in for an unannounced observation. I wish they would just call them “surprise observations.”
Shit…this post isn’t going well….I’m not the nervous little teacher of one or two years, but I’m also not the self-assured veteran who can just roll with anything. Do I want to be the self-assured veteran? Do I want to just get to know the system so well that I can leave at 3:30 and not have to worry? “Hey, fuck it…I’m making $75-90k and there is no chance of matching that anywhere else because I’ve just been doing this for the past 17 years. Now it’s easy.”
I don’t want an easy job. And I don’t want to just work and wait until my job becomes easy.
Even if I wanted to be a VP, it now seems that those positions are reserved exclusively for lap dogs under the age of 30.
This job sucks.
(The above disorganized rant was partially motivated this disheartening but resonant comment.)