Giddiness and Depression
First, I’d like to say that “giddiness” is a pretty stupid looking word once you see it typed out. It just doesn’t look right. I’m not sure it’s even a real word. Look at it. It’s like Gideons or Guinness or Genesis; only dumber looking and harder to say. But now I’ve got so much invested in it that I probably have to keep it. Like a sick pet.
Second, OH MY GOD IT’S ALMOST MAY!!!!
So cool. The kids are a little nuts, but so are the teachers. It leads to some conflict, but we are all basically in agreement: Let’s wrap this bitch up. And quick.
Nobody can think about anything at all…except MAYBE what they are doing in June. It’s a special time that mostly sucks. But do you remember that Distant Glow…that light at the end of the tunnel?…it’s getting pretty close now. Keep your shades at the ready ’cause we ’bout to blow the roof offa dis mo-fo!!
I am coming to terms with the fact that I will have to more or less make a whole new set of friends and acquaintances next year. I’ve said it before…I love the teachers I work with. They are warm, talented and wickedly fun people. A colleague of mine pointed out to me that our school hires exceptionally well. In terms of experience, education, and committment to kids, I would put the people I work with up against any school in America and dare them to tell me that this is not an impressive group of people.
We hire well. But we retain worse than any organization I have ever worked for, been affiliated with, or heard of. When I was in high school, I worked at Burger King longer than most teachers want to work at this school.
And it’s not the kids. I used to teach at much “rougher” schools in the district. Elementary school in a certain part of the city was the worst. I got called a “white-ass bitch” by a second grader who then told me that his uncle was going to come to the school and shoot me. The second graders were fucking awful. I had to sprint to the back of the room at least once a day to break up a fight. Where I teach now, the kids are not what drives people out.
Whatever it is, it’s sad. Some of my closest compadres are moving far away. Most are just getting out of this school. I’d like to say we’ll keep in touch. But it’s probably not true. A lot of this is me. Mr. Teachbad is a little insular.
To all of my colleagues: Can you imagine how great it would have been if this place didn’t suck so much? Can you imagine how much better friends we might have become? Can you imagine what a deadly, interdisciplinary education machine we could have morphed into?